How to Write Wedding Vows: A Step-by-Step Guide

July 01, 2025
Home > Guides to Wedding Planning > How to Write Wedding Vows: A Step-by-Step Guide

Imagine standing under clear Hertfordshire skies, surrounded by friends and family at the fairytale-like South Farm. You’re about to declare your love with words that speak from the heart, using your relationship’s special memories as inspiration. According to The Knot 2021 Real Wedding Study, about 47% of couples wrote their own wedding vows, highlighting that personalised vows are becoming increasingly popular. But if you don’t know where to begin with writing your vow exchange, we’re here to help take a bit of the pressure off. Read on for a step-by-step guide on how to write your wedding vows.

Bride and Groom standing on the lawn near the Summerhouse at outdoor garden wedding venue
Photo by Photography by Bea

Understanding the Importance of Personal Vows

Creating your own wedding vows gives you the beautiful opportunity to share intimate glimpses into your love story, expressing your deepest feelings and hopes for the future in front of those you cherish most. By speaking heartfelt, original promises, you infuse your ceremony with warmth, romance, and a genuine reflection of your unique journey together. At venues like the enchanting South Farm, where nature harmonises with your tender declarations, personalised vows create truly magical and unforgettable moments.

Bride and groom hold hands during garden wedding ceremony with guests watching on
Photo by Rafe Abrook Photography

Preparing to Write Your Vows

Reflect on Your Relationship

To craft meaningful vows, reflect deeply on your love story and the experiences that shaped your journey together. Relatable narratives will make your vows emotionally rich and engaging for everyone witnessing your special day. Consider:

  • How did you meet?
  • What moments defined your relationship?
  • What qualities do you most admire in your partner?
  • What hopes and dreams do you share for your future together?

Thinking about these questions will help you articulate genuine sentiments and promises.

Bride and Groom standing in the Summerhouse, Bride smiling as the groom reads his personal vows to her
Photo by Photography by Bea

Decide on Tone and Length

Discuss the tone together:

  • Romantic, humorous, poetic, or traditional? Choose a style that authentically represents your personalities.
  • Aim for vows of around 150–250 words, approximately 1–2 minutes spoken aloud, keeping your guests captivated and your message clear.

Structuring Your Wedding Vows

A simple, effective structure can enhance clarity and emotional impact:

Introduction

Begin warmly by addressing your partner by name, expressing your deep love. For instance:

“[Partner’s Name], from our first meeting, you’ve captured my heart and imagination.”

Personal Anecdotes

Share meaningful memories or moments that highlight your connection:

“I’ll never forget our first camping trip, laughing as we sheltered beneath an old oak while it rained. Moments like that made me realise just how special our bond is.”

Promises

Vows aren’t merely anecdotes; they’re promises made with genuine intention. Blend heartfelt seriousness by expressing unwavering support, lifelong commitment, and devotion. Add warmth by including playful yet meaningful promises that reflect daily life, like always being the one brave enough to handle spiders.

Closing

End powerfully with a forward-looking, loving declaration:

“Today, I choose you – my love, my companion, my everything, now and forever.”

Bride and Groom standing in the Wildflower meadow at stunning eco conscious wedding venue in Hertfordshire
Photo by Sam and Louise Photography

Tips for Delivering Your Vows

Practising your vows aloud can help them feel more natural and comfortable on your special day. Take moments to look deeply into your partner’s eyes, creating a beautiful connection that enhances the sincerity of your promises. Allow yourself to express genuine emotions, whether it’s joy, laughter, or even tears, as these authentic reactions will make your vows truly memorable and touching.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Avoid Vagueness: Be specific, not generic. Authentic anecdotes resonate.
  • Steer Clear of Clichés: Originality makes vows memorable. Avoid overly common phrases

Sample Wedding Vow Examples

Here are a few vow examples to inspire you:

Romantic:

“[Partner’s Name], from the moment we met, you’ve filled my days with warmth and laughter. I promise to grow alongside you, nurture your dreams, and cherish our love endlessly.”

Humorous:

“[Partner’s Name], I promise to support your passion for sports, even though I still don’t quite get the rules, and to keep laughing through all your karaoke performances, no matter how off-key!”

Traditional:

“[Partner’s Name], I pledge my love, respect, and companionship to you, through every joy and challenge we face, today and always.”

Final Thoughts

Crafting your wedding vows is a beautiful opportunity to share your love story and express your deepest emotions authentically. As you put your story into words, you’ll create promises that reflect your true selves and your dreams for the future, forming memories that resonate deeply and last beyond the ceremony itself.

At South Farm, nestled in idyllic Hertfordshire countryside, your vows will resonate beautifully against the backdrop of our stunning gardens and charming, eco-friendly venue. Create memories that last a lifetime, let your heartfelt promises bloom amidst our fairytale setting.

Ready to bring your vision of love to life? Let South Farm be the enchanting setting where your forever begins.

Charming country farmhouse adorned with red roses in the Summer at outdoor garden wedding venue
Photo by Cat Lane Weddings

FAQs:

Who traditionally goes first in wedding vows? Typically, the groom shares his vows first, setting a loving tone before the bride reciprocates with her heartfelt promises and expressions of devotion.

What are traditional wedding vows in the UK? Traditional UK wedding vows are formal, meaningful declarations exchanged between partners, pledging lifelong commitment. Examples can be found on the Church of England’s official website.

What is the purpose of a wedding vow? Wedding vows publicly affirm your deep love, personal promises, and lifelong commitment, symbolising your dedication to shared dreams, values, and an enduring partnership together.

Bride and Groom sharing a kiss after the 'I Do's' in the Old Dairy at eco friendly wedding venue in Cambridgeshire
Photo by Sonderlust Photography